When did I get this old?

Last week a friend of mine remarked "you look pretty good for someone who's nearly half a century". At the time I laughed, but later I stared at the mirror and asked myself "what the hell happened to the last 25 years of my life?" When did become nearly 50 years old? I remember when I thought I'd be dead by now.

I'm not complaining; I have a great wife, smart kid, nice house, stable job, money in the bank, but I don't know how I got here. I came to DC 25 years ago full of drive and ambition. I looked around at all of the "old folks" around the office and thought, "God, what happened to these people! Where's their drive; their ambition?".

Now I see the younger employees looking at me the same way and calling my "sir". I'm not a "sir"! My Dad was a "sir"! It seems that the older I get, the more I understand how those colleagues felt. I better understand the daily grind of having to reevaluate goals and realize that life is much more reactive than proactive.

It seems that I haven't so much created what I am as become it. Good and bad. I didn't get that promotion I worked so hard for. That project I headed was scrapped due to lack of budget. I find myself in middle management with little room for upward mobility. I don't want to move because I really enjoy what I do for 9 hours a day. I've accepted the situation because it's still better than what I had growing up and much better than those who just lost their job to this hideous economy.

So what does all this whining mean? I'm not sure. I guess I've chosen stability (an extremely lacking environment growing up) over more money and position. In DC that's not the best choice, but like I said, I'm not from here.